What’s True and What’s False About Giving a Baby Up for Adoption?
Which of the following are true about adoption and a woman who chooses to give her child up for adoption?
- She has very little control over the adoption process? Or she has full control over the adoption process?
- Her child will be placed with a child without her involvement? Or she will single-handedly select the adoptive family of her child?
- She will never see her child again? Or she may maintain a future relationship with her child?
If you are considering adoption for your baby, you may be surprised (and relieved) to read that the latter is true for each of these questions.
If you are looking for help or more information about placing your baby for adoption, contact Rick Corley or a trusted national adoption agency such as American Adoptions.
Now, let’s take a look at how adoption used to work, and then talk about each of these aforementioned questions in more detail.
How Putting a Child Up for Adoption Used to Work
Back in the day, as they say, adoption was much different for everyone involved, but especially for the woman choosing adoption.
Generally, a woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy may have felt shame within her family, among her peers, and even in her community. Unplanned pregnancy resources simply weren’t as widely available as they are today, and the adoption option was very much a shunned aspect of society.
Women who did choose adoption often did so secretly. These women would often hide their pregnancies best they could, and either once they began to show or the pregnancy drew near, they would often “visit a relative” for a few months, when in actuality they were meeting with a medical professional to discuss adoption options.
Once the child was born, a pre-determined adoptive family would take the baby, and each party would go their separate ways, often times never spoken about again.
Thankfully, as you are about to read, these days are over.
How Giving a Child Up for Adoption Works Today
One of the only differences between today and yesterday’s adoptions are the fact that a child is permanently and legally placed with another family. The similarities largely end there. Here’s why:
You Have Full Control Over the Adoption Process
In today’s adoptions, you are in charge. You determine what type of professional you will work with, you largely determine what types of services you require (financial assistance, counseling and support, housing options, and others), and of course as you will read about soon, you also determine the family who will adopt your baby and the amount of contact you share with them and your child.
This is your baby and your adoption process. You have the final say in nearly every decision.
You Select the Adoptive Family
Of course one of the most important aspects of this entire adoption decision is who will be parents to your child. This is a decision that should never be taken lightly because every woman in your position wants her child to have the most amazing life imaginable.
With that said, all women have different ideas on what the “most amazing life imaginable” ultimately means. Does it mean living in the country away from the hustle and bustle of the city life? Or is the city life the ideal environment for her child? Does it mean growing up in an established family with older brothers and sisters? Or does it mean growing up as the first and possibly only child to parents who’ve struggled with infertility for so long?
You are the only person on the planet who can answer what is best for your child. It’s up to you to make this decision by finding the perfect adoptive family.
You May Maintain a Relationship with Your Child
Indeed, you have final say over just about every aspect of the adoption, including the relationship you choose to share with the adoptive parents and even your child. So, how does that work exactly?
Because you may select the adoptive parents of your child, you are also selecting the type of adoption relationship you want to share with them. If you are looking for a fully open adoption, you will only want to talk with or view profiles of South Carolina adoptive families looking to share a relationship with you as well.
Before the birth of your baby, this relationship could include as much contact as personal visits with the adoptive family, conference calls, phone calls and emails. And after the adoption, this contact could also include your child.
And while the benefits of open adoption are vast, a fully open adoption simply isn’t for everyone. This is why most of today’s adoptions are considered “semi open,” meaning there is a balance between contact and privacy. Semi-open adoptions often involved the sending and receiving of pictures, letters and emails, and perhaps the occasional phone call or text message.
However you foresee your relationship with your child can absolutely become reality as long as you select an adoptive family interested in similar contact.
Giving a baby up for adoption is a personal decision that only you can make. You may take the advice of your parents, the birth father, your friends, and any other trusted people in your life, but ultimately this has to be your decision.
The last thing we want you to understand is that you may explore adoption further without any commitment to see if it is right for your situation.
If you’d like to learn more about how adoption works, or if you are ready to take the next step, you may contact South Carolina Adoption Attorney Rick Corley or national adoption agency American Adoptions confidentially and with zero obligation.